Thursday, July 23, 2015

A Day on the Life of A Suburban Girl

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me 
Writer(s): Rachel Platten, Dave Bassett

Cast of Characters:
Mom of the Year - Me, (Yes, finally I am Mom of the Year )
Mr. Engineer - Husband
Soccer Boy - Son
Apologetic Dad  - Parent
Little Soccer Kid  - Apologetic Dad's Kid
Officer Info-Taker - Officer #96, Undisclosed Police Dept
Officer Pessimism - Officer Rowland, Undisclosed Police Dept
Officer Action - Officer #739, Undisclosed Police Dept
Officer Awesome - Officer Perozzi, Horsham Police Dept.

All times are approximate.

Here's What I Did All Day Honey
One hot humid evening between 8-10pm
Soccer Boy was playing pick-up soccer with the local soccer club.
Earlier the same evening Little Soccer Kid
played pick-up soccer in the younger age group from 6-8pm.


"The Ball"

9:45pm
Soccer Boy is dropped off at home -
Hmmmm - where's our car?
His bag was taken, missing, gone.

No bag =
no car key
no iphone
no wallet
(thus no driver's license, debit card, gift cards, cash
and worst of all no Chick Fil A monthly club card)
no work ID
no work shirt

10:00pm
Retrieve car with Soccer Boy
Look around for the bag
Mr. Engineer is sleeping blissfully unaware.

10:15pm
Wake Mr. Engineer from his blissful sleep.
File Police Report with Officer Info-Taker
who asks all the same questions I just answered on the form
I had to fill out before talking to him


"The Bag"

11:00pm
Debit Card cancelled
'find my iphone' finds the phone
blink, blink, blink....here I am.
Call Officer Info-Taker to report the find.
Officer Info-Taker is too busy now to check it out.
blink, blink, blink
"Do not go there,"says Officer Info-Taker, "we will handle it."
blink, blink, blink
We fall asleep to
blink, blink, blink

Never mind, I can't sleep.
I find the name of Apologetic Dad
I find Apologetic Dad's phone number (temptation, but officer said no)
I find Apologetic Dad is divorced
I find where Apologetic Dad's X lives
I find how much Apologetic Dad paid for his house
I find, I find, I find... 
You'd be surprised what you can find when you can't sleep.

"The Work Clothes"

9:00 am
Stop by Undisclosed Police Department
with a printout of the "find my iphone" map identifying the phone location.
We're really busy says Officer Pessimism
but don't go there yourself.

Hmmmmm...the dog didn't great me this morning. 

10:00am
Officer Pessimism rings the door bell.
hope, hope, hope
Officer Pessimism states
'The family does not have the bag with the phone, they looked.'
Very vague...and continues
'They can't possibly have the phone.'
'The kids were home with the parents all evening after 6pm.'
blink, blink, blink 
Mom of the Year: 'But 'find my iphone' is blinking on their house'
Officer Pessimism: 'Oh, those things are not very accurate.'
Mom of the Year: But they have an iphone, wallet, key....
Officer Pessimism: There really isn't anything you can do
Mom of the Year: 'Can I just talk to them myself?'
Officer Pessimism: 'I prefer not. They don't want to be involved'
Huh?

 Hmmmmm...the dog sure is drinking a lot of water 

10:30am
Mom of the Year makes flyers to place on mailboxes around where
the blink, blink, blink signal since Officer Pessimism
says blink, blink, blink is not very accurate.
Mom of the Year delivers flyers (with typo)
and meets Wonderfully Nice Neighbor of Apologetic Dad  
Wonderfully Nice Neighbor and Mom of the Year's
kids were in the same GeoScience class.
Small world. 

11:15
Mom of the Year gets her hair done.
Ahhhhhhh.....

 Hmmmmm...the dog sure is licking his paws a lot 

12:30
Mom of the Year's new lens arrives
but Mom of the Year has no time to play since Mom of the Year is being Mom of the Year
and doing laundry, laundry, laundry
mopping, mopping, mopping
dusting, dusting, dusting
That's what Mom of the Year does when she is frustrated.

Dang, something sure is wrong with that dog. 

2:00
Call Vet 1 - No openings, not now, not ever...basically is what the message said.
Call Vet 2 - We can see him Friday, make appt.
I am really busy Friday, I need something sooner.
Call Vet 3 - Leave a message and we will return your call
(Call returned at 8pm....no thank you.)
Call Vet 4 - 'We have something tomorrow.'
'Great, I'll take it.'
Cancel Vet 2

3:00pm
I better replace the license for Soccer Boy
since Officer Pessimism said there
is nothing I can do.
Open form for lost/stolen licenses on DMV website
Enter your license # here ________

Click here for where to find your license #

Click 
\/

I kid you not...
the DMV refers you to your lost/stolen license to find your license number.

3:30pm
Bang head on wall a few thousand times.

4:00pm
Put the new lens on the camera and take a few pics.
It works.

4:30pm
Pick Mr. Engineer up from the train

5:00pm
Soccer Boy is home from work and checks 'find my iphone' updates.
Now we can tell you
where Apologetic Dad works
where Apologetic Dad went for lunch
where Apologetic Dad got gas
where Apologetic Dad is parked in his office complex

5:30 pm
Call police, "The phone is on the move."
Officer Action asks all the same questions
answered on the form
answered to Officer Info-Taker
answered to Officer Pessimism
AND
takes details of the phone's location.
Officer Action forwards information to Horsham PD
where the blink, blink, blink is.
Horsham PD send FOUR Officers...
apparently THEY are not too busy to help.

Officer Awesome calls Mom of the Year.
Over the phone, Soccer Boy and Mom of the Year
guide Officer Awesome
to the location of blink, blink, blink  
in a large business complex parking lot.
Officer Awesome locates the bag with the
blink, blink, blink. 
Officer Awesome stakes out the car with the
blink, blink, blink. 

Apologetic Dad sees police activity near his car.
Apologetic Dad checks out car and sees bag in car.
Apologetic Dad gives bag to Officer Awesome.
Apologetic Dad never knew the bag was there.
Little Soccer Kid must have picked it up with his belongings.
Officer Pessimism never talked to Apologetic Dad
All his information came from the BABYSITTER
who was only with the kids til 6pm.

Officer Awesome is now Soccer Boy's hero.
Hmmmm, what about Mom of the Year? 
Seriously, she is underrated. 

Apologetic Dad calls Mom of the Year and apologizes profusely.
Him: Why didn't you just come to the door?
Me: Officer Info-Taker and Officer Pessimism told me not to and
Officer Pessimism said you didn't want to be involved.
Him: It was the babysitter who didn't want to be involved.

Officer Pessimism has a few things to learn. 
Next time just go to the stinkin' door. 
Track my iphone is pretty darn accurate. 

This is the abridged version of my day...really, 
I left stuff out.  
Lots. 


I now award myself
Mom of the Year.


In case you are wondering....
The dog will be fine. 
Pomeranians often have issues with their teeth since they are so small. 
He needs an antibiotic and likely another tooth pulled. 
After 7 years I recognize the symptoms. 

"The Toothache"

Thanks to the tenacity of Officer Amazing 
for not giving up in a sea of cars
 we have the bag and all of its contents back. 

And fortunately for Mr. Engineer,
he didn't ask what I did all day.






The Party's Here! Where I am linking these days.




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All images by Rebecca Haegele have been registered with the U.S. Copyright Office. Click on any image to go to its gallery for purchasing information.

24 comments:

  1. I don't know whether to laugh or cry for you! One Mother of the Year to another, I've had days just like this one! I love that even in the midst of a very rough day, you made time to take a few pictures, and recognize the day for what is was . . . one crazy mixed up day in the midst of a lovely life. So glad you got the PHONE back! Having an 18 year-old son my self, I know well the drama that comes with a lost phone and driver's license. Wishing you at least a few ordinary days in a row. Can't wait to see pictures with the new lens!

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  2. "Mom of the Year" awards are high under rated, dontcha think??!!?? :) Glad it was all resolved.

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  3. Oy vey!! So glad you got it back in the end!!

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  4. I am ROFL .. this is the funniest story i have read in a long time... that said.. shame on all the officers that did not help, and good boy to hubby that did not ask how your day was... you tell a fantastic story... and now you wait for the new debit card... who know what will happen while you wait. keep us posted... and you are Mother Of The Year.... i wonder how the bag got in the apologetic dad's car? hummmm glad pup is ok

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  5. Oh my goodness!!! My head is swimming! God Bless you!!!! Wishing you a better day and wonderful weekend!

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  6. I'm laughing with you, not at you. I would have big lumps on my head from banging it against inanimate objects. The cell phone trackers are amazingly accurate, mine pinpointed my location at many places during my recent trip.

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  7. Wow, it certainly sounds like you had a very frustrating day. First, I'm glad your doggie is going to be okay. Second, happy that you finally got the bag with all its contents back. Third, you kept me hanging on the edge of my seat. I think I need a glass of wine now. Why don't you have a glass with me and we can toast to officer awesome for taking immediate action. Cheers!

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  8. Thankfully it all worked out in the end, but reading this I can feel just what an exhausting experience it must have been.

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  9. Oh my stars I would have been pulling my hair out had this happened to me. What a mess you all went through that could have been solved so easily had they just don't their job properly. You deserve Mom of the Year for sure.

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  10. LOL, my what a day. All's well that end's well though. glad bag is back and puppy is ok.

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  11. WOW, girl, I am tired from just reading about your day. You must be one cool mom to have the presence of mind to take pictures with all that going on....So glad everything turned out OK....Being a parent is a hard but very rewarding job...

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  12. This made my day to read, it really did. I hope most of your days are not this exciting. Amazing in the difference in police help too, it doesn't give me much confidence in most of the men in blue.

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  13. What a pain for you, but what an entertaining read for me!

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  14. Oh my, what a situation. Glad alls well that ends well! You need a break after all that.

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  15. i was not sure if i should laugh or cry, perhaps you felt the same ;)...perhaps not!!!

    definitely the stuff moms of the year are made of!!!!

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  16. Pretty much my idea of The Day from Hell. Ughhhh! But it worked out!

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  17. What a frustrating day! Glad the bag was found and the dog is okay...but the time in between the lost bag and finding it must have raised your blood pressure a few notches.

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  18. Aggghhh! But I'm glad it ended well.

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  19. wow! that is amazing. i can't believe how useless that police officer was. it reminds me of ringing the Council about a bridge with dense mesh so tight that you couldn't see thru it when turning - an accident waiting to happen:) The 5 year old on the end of the phone told me she had checked it out on Google earth and it looked fine to her!! what the?!...

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  20. Oh My Goodness! Way to fight back - and NOT give up!

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  21. A kick in the grass! Tom The Backroads Traveller

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  22. Oh my that sounds like one serious day.

    Mollyxxx

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  23. You are so good! I think I need to get that app on all of the kids phones. It sounds like it could be very helpful!

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